Over whom the nation is laughing: Europe
Where you live in Europe in Europe, who, besides Russians, laughs at the slowness of Estonians and a new trend – jokes about migrants. We continue a series of materials on how the nation-neighbors joke on each other.
Jokes about the Germans
German residents are customary to make fun not only for pragmatism, but also for the inactive and difficult language for pronunciation. In the UK, France and Spain, you can hear, for example, such a joke.
Four linguists from different countries go to one coupe of the train. The dispute is argued about what language is the most frantic and eloquent. The Englishman defends the championship of his tongue, leading to the example of the word butterfly – butterfly. Spaniard and Frenchman protest, assuring that the words Mariposa and Papillon are better suited to designate such a fragile and elegant creating. After listening to colleagues, the German gets up and in Loman English pronounces: "And what’s wrong in the word schmetterling?"
Germans about the Austrians and the Turks
Germans also tell bearded jokes about Poles, Jews, Russians, especially sophisticated in sharpness against neighbors-Austrians. The last Germans consider not enough serious, neat and hardworking, and, by itself, in German anecdotes, the Austrians lose on all articles.
In Austria at the stadium, the final show "The Smart. The lead asks the participant: "How much will be 2 + 4?»The participant is insecure:" Phanta-Ya. »Host:" The answer is incorrect!»The stadium chants:" Give another chance!"Host:" Okay, how much will be 3 + 3?»Member:" Phand. "Host:" Wrong, you drop out!»The stadium chants:" Another chance!"It repeats many times. Finally, the leading boring and he asks: "How much will be 2 + 3?»Member, uncertain:" Phath-yat "Stadium continues to chant:" Give another chance!"
Recently, new jokes are born in Germany – about the Turks.
Two Turks and two Poles go in one car.
Question: Who is driving?
Anecdotes fold on the evil day and help to survive current problems. Today, the humor of the Germans is aimed primarily to the refugees who flooded Europe.
Sits Mohammed squatting on the square in Berlin and spits on the ground through the hole in the teeth. Suddenly a fairy appears.
– I am a socialist liberal fairy! I flew to fulfill three wishes!
– I want me to cure and inserted all my teeth!
Mohammed did not have time to pronounce these words, as the law on the free treatment and prosthetics of teeth for refugees came out.
– I really miss my four wives and fifteen kids, as well as by parents, brothers and sisters, as well as parents, brothers, sisters of my wives! I want us to all live on a luxurious villa and that there is always a lot of money!
Did not have time Muhammed to finish how it was on a beautiful villa. On the table – the text of the law on the reunification of families of refugees, as well as banking prints with information about the benefits. The house is furnished and equipped with a law on assistance in acquiring furniture and household appliances for refugees.
Happy Mohammed says:
– I want to become a real German. Not only by citizenship. I want to be blue-eyed blond and so that I was called Fritz Schulz!
He did not have time to finish the phrase, as everything disappeared and he discovered himself again sitting squatting and spitting on the ground through the hole in the teeth.
– How not ashamed, Mr. Schulz! Go and look for work! – said Faii.
Here, the Germans are illiterate not so much over visitors as over their own legislation, which is loyal to foreigners and extremely strictly to their citizens.
Jokes about Latvians
Latvians live poorer than most Europeans – this is based on a lot of jokes, which are recently popular not only in the Baltic States and Poland, but also in the US. A stereotype is played in the anecdotes: dark depressive people live in Latvia, who feed exclusively by potatoes and enjoy dismay. The spread of jokes about the Latvian world is obliged to an American journalist and photographer Chris Connolly, who lived for three years in Latvia. Jokes of his authorship became very popular in the Western Internet.
Question: What did one potato potato told another?
Answer: Nelepa background. Who has two potatoes?
Latvian goes to the bar, he carries a poodle and salami. At first he eats salami ..
Estonians love to joke that the Latvian has six fingers on the legs, because the reduction (LV) reminds them of the phrase Lisa Varvas – an extra finger. Lithuanians call Latvian horsepads: first, because the Riga Bay from the shores of Latvia is reminded by the face of the horse, and secondly, because of the ancient tradition of Latvians to take important decisions with divination: if the horse crossed the hot spear with the right hoof – the decision was Positive, if left – negative. In Polish jokes, the poverty of Latvia residents is ridiculed: the heroes tend to dream of potatoes, but they have no money to buy it. The gloomy nature of the neighbors begins, their habit to complain about difficulties.
Two Latvians look at the cloud. One sees potatoes, and the other – its impossible dreams. But it’s just a cloud.
Often ridiculous and imperidence of residents of Latvia.
Latvian, Russian and Jew sit in a cafe. By passing elephant. Jew thinks: "I could sell an elephant on meat. Would earn a bunch of money!"Russian thinks:" I will climb the elephant on the back and will look the biggest and strong!»Latvian:" Elephant looks at me. I wonder what he thinks about me?"
Latvians about themselves and neighbors
Residents of Latvia are pleased to support the myth of their dullness, responding with jokes: "The biggest dream of Latvian – burn around the fire: the end of the cold and the end of the struggle". In addition to yourself, they are joking about neighbors – Estonians: popular stories about their slowness and stupidity.
If the Estonian overtook you in Latvia, then you are Finn.
Why in Estonia young mothers change diapers for children once a day? Because it is written on a pack: up to 4 kg.
Spaniards and Portuguese
Spaniards love to rush over the Portuguese: their appearance, peculiarities of behavior, longing for the colonial past and the former majority. There is an ironic statement on this: "You’re exactly the Portuguese, if you think about your country as a continent". Although the languages of both nations are similar, the Spaniards do not always understand what their neighbors speak, tear over their pronunciation and belong to the Portuguese are somewhat cough, remembering those times when Portugal was part of Spain (from 1581 to 1640). The anecdotes of the Spaniards contain stereotypes that Portugal is the country backward and archaic, and its inhabitants are slow and silent. Often, jokes are spinning around the unattractiveness of Portuguese women.
Portugal is the only country in the world where the mistress of a man is ugly than his wife.
You are in Portugal visiting Portuguese. Ask to convey salt. "Your request reminded me of a famous battle for Macau, when the courageous Portuguese reflected small forces to attack the Dutch and defended the port as a result of a three-day battle," the owner says and starts in long memories, calling the Portugal Empire and the Continent.
Proud Portuguese are outraged by ridicule in their address and also do not remain in debt.
Representatives of these peoples have a very different temperament and perception of life: Spaniards – the people are hot, emotional, explosive, the portuguese is attributed to softness and melancholic. Want to offend the Portuguese – confuse it with the Spaniard, and vice versa. In Portuguese jokes, the Spaniards are depicted as fucking and attractive – proud, arrogant, despising everyone and all.
How to find out the Spaniard in the library? He is the only one who asks Madrid’s World Map.
There is also a whole series of multicultural jokes, reflecting the ideas of peoples about each other. Here, for example, a typical joke, understandable to every European.
Paradise where the cooks are French, the Germans, the Germans, the British, lovers – Italians, and all the Swiss organize. Hell there, where the cooks – the British, the police are Germans, lovers – Swiss, mechanics – French, and organize all Italians.
And the Russians also got into this joke.
On a desert island in the Pacific Ocean, three representatives of different nations were two men and one woman from each. A month later, the following happened: one Italian killed another because of Italian, the French united in a happy union, the Germans divide the woman, strictly observing the schedule. Greeks live together, and the Greek is preparing them and erases, the British are desperately waiting for the one who will finally present the Englishman, Bulgarians, throwing the last look at the lady, went to the mainland. The Swedes, and failed to plunge an independent Swede, think about suicide, comforting themselves because at least it does not snow and do not have to pay taxes. Irish built a distillery plant, and about Irish after several liters of whiskey no longer remembered – the main thing is that whiskey will not go to the British. One of the Russians married, and the other, having killed Irish and selling the visas to Bulgarians, received the money to which a third of the distillery plant bought, began to sell Wine to the British, hired Grek as a seller, and the Germans – bodyguards. Swiss surrounded their territory by the fence and swore for nothing to interfere with.
Annecdote in the original – French, but can also tell him in another country, because the established stereotypes about nations are in many ways similar.