Hakuna Matata!

If the nerves at the limit, you want to challenge the work and send partners where far away, if Mistonica is tormented, and the mother-in-law causes an incommodified disgust, it means that it’s time to packing the suitcase, do the vaccination from the yellow fever and on the first plane. To return to human state again. Wild Africa contributes to this.

It is believed that the rich is very gentle creatures, and even a week of safari to withstand not. And therefore, while Aeroflot aircraft flew in Nairobi weekly, the vast majority of travel agencies planned a weekly trip to Kenya as follows: three days on safari, then four days on the coast. Similar advertising brought me to rabies. Three-day safari is not a safari. A truly effect of safari works day on the sixth. The impact of Safari agrees that no supercomformer Europe or America do not act so beneficially. Thank God that Aeroflot from spring flies in Kenya every two weeks. And in the proposed tours now usually take a week to safaris and a week for rest in Mombasa, on the Indian Ocean coast.

Kenyan safari is not a hunt. Shoot here is forbidden for twenty years. Going around the reserve in minibas or jeep, you look, take pictures. And precisely because in Kenya have not hunt for a long time, the beast does not pay any attention to the approaching machines. Auto for them – a safe and completely intimate beast.

Snap in response to the words that safari in Kenya does not imply killed animals, can only a person, absolutely not advanced. The statement that with the same success can be viewed on all African animals in the zoo, below every criticism.

Of course, almost everyone saw the pink flamingos in some kind of zoo. But whether you saw the lake, in which thousands of pink flamingos are roaming in the rays of the setting sun? You stand on the shore, look at them, and they are so they are built to the right, then suddenly unfold and also go to the left. And you continue like a fool, stand and stare on them, unable to understand why they walked on the other side.

And for your car ever chased rhino? And if you risk overlooking the experienced person answer: "Think, rhinoceros!", I immediately understand that you have never been on safari. And do not even really imagine what kind of beast – rhino. And what you feel when he rushes on you.

Kenyan reserves are wonderful in that after a few days, safari start to perceive himself as part of wildlife. Suddenly begins to seem that all his conscious and irrequisite life you lived in Savannah. Next to this lion family lying in the meter from your bus. Or among ZEBR and antelope. I was so at all felt like an indigenous inhabitant of Africa (in Kenya arrived for the second time).

Once we all seriously included in the natural life of the savanna. It was a day when we met a young leopard. Not far from him, Hyena straightened with his piece of meat. As it should be in such cases, we twitched from the seats (the roof of the bus on the safari is always raised) to shut down "Natural life". And suddenly our driver Ben gazed. "Leopard has not yet found", – He threw us when we convulsively clutched in the board. Ten minutes we chased hyena in savanna. Like real wild animals. And with the goal, quite worthy of any inhabitant of the reserve: We wanted to take prey from her. She, poor fellow, first could not understand anything at all. A completely harmless animal named minibus suddenly attacks. In the end, Hyena threw meat. Ben grabbed him, and the bus went towards the leopard. Hunting succeeded.

And on the last day of the safari we watched someone else’s hunt. During the last trip to Kenya, I gently love babinians – "Sobasholov" monkey. Then they inflicted a visit to the courtesy of our hotel. Satisfied under the canopies from our houses on the tables and in chairs. And discussed Russians who first gorges in these places. This time hotels were not in the most "Babuinovy" places that I upset somewhat. Baboons we saw only on safari. Every seen babous I was happy as a kind old friend. So it was until the last safari.

By the time we have already found – both ZEBR, and rhinos, and all sorts of antelope, and giraffes, elephants, and lions, and leopards, and cheetahs. In the end, we began to feel illegal inhabitants of Savannah and Bush. And on the minibasses meetings with white tourists stared, approximately like giraffes. However, from the oncoming buses we rushed as much as meaningful glances.

Nothing already started. Well, think, another elephant. a lion. Another pig wearing an exotic name "warthog". Zebra and Antelope GNU were generally perceived as cows.

That day we went on Bush. Nothing interesting: Antelope, Gazelles, Monkeys. And suddenly – a cry. I did not understand – he came from the forest or someone shouted in the bus. Healthy Baboon Baby Gazelles. The mother of the victim was chased behind Babuine. Babulov lavished between her and our bus. Then climbed onto the tree, then went down and ran away. And in the interruptions between movements erupted. Gryukanya died from the belly of gazelle gazelle and greedily stuffed them with her handms in his mouth. Only after five minutes, I realized that it was not a baboon grunt, but a little gazelle lamb. He ate her alive! And every time he pulled out the next intestine from her belly, she hoarse. And mother ran into her voice. And Baboon rangue again. Finally, wheezing stopped. We sighed lightweight.

Ten minutes of such a spectacle – and you completely cease to die in the wild life of animals. I heard a few days ago the story of our guide about what a touching mother – the female cheetah, began to be perceived differently. Mother, Geepardich, of course, wonderful. Unlike Lviv, she immediately gives children, and herself eats only what remains. And when the young will grow up, she begins to teach them to hunt. The technique is as follows: it hurts the victim (for example, the foot will come), and the children must finally be finished.

The next day we returned to Nairobi. There, according to the program, lunch took place in the famous restaurant "Cornivour", where the meat of wild animals. I could only eat crocodile.

If you are asked what kind of reserves in Kenya you want to visit, be sure to demand Masai Maru. Here the beast is grazing in the most inconspicuous quantities. And only here you will see the most real Masaev – the only people in Kenya sprawling on all laws of a democratic society. If you try to take a picture of the mask, without asking for its consent, then risks to get a stone on the head. Masai – People Typing and Fearless. If the lion attacked the lion, then the angry Masai scores a predator with a special Masai Dubyon. And even though the hunt in Kenya is prohibited, Masai has the right to kill any beast for self defense. Wild people, in one word. And live right in the middle of the reserve.

In Masai Mare you will come across and American lifestyle. Some embossing American American bought three balloons and began to offer tourists flying over the reserve. The same thing is American entertainment. 250 dollars with nose. None of the person from our group of such a nose. Poets we simply decided to shoot, how litter bourgeois fly in a balloon. This time it was French. They flew, we went for them. We photographed them, they are us. We, of course, had an advantage – we did not pay for this pleasure neither cents. In addition, we felt calmer – after all on Earth. Less than an hour they flew. But, looking at their faces at the moment when the ball fell to the ground, we realized that they were quite enough. I think that the real delight of the perfect journey should manifest people in two days when they begin the stories about their exploits to relatives.

Safari has another entertainment that requires some material costs – visits to the local village. Such can be organized in any reserve. But it is correct to visit the village in Masai Mare. Because only there will come to authentic masses. Masai – People Peer. As I noted, do not like to be photographed. And if agree, then for money. Standard dachshund on the ability to fall out an excellent Masaica or no less beautiful warrior (though, warriors are less sold, and rarely agree to the shooting) – 100 Kenyan shillings (about 2 dollars). But if you visit the village in an organized order as part of the group, you pay for the input 500 shillings. And there – at least twenty films. In the village caring to special, "tourist" Masha. Therefore, in the middle of the village there is a Masai-Bazar. Here and beads and "Authentic Masai Shields", and "Authentic Masai arrows", and "Authentic Masai Luke".

But the main result of Safari is not the opportunity to be among Masaev, not the number of animals that managed to see, and not even adventures, without which no safari do not care, but what you really start to look like a giraffe. The head becomes a nine clean. That is quite natural. Safari Only a person who has not passed through him seems to be a trifle occupation. And this, by the way, severe physical work. Rail in 6-7 in the morning, have breakfast (if something at this time will get along the throat), then you go to the animal on the roads, significantly inferior in the near Moscow. Return to dinner. Eat with greed, more appropriate wild beast. Two hours is given to rest. I want to sleep, but instead after lunch you go to the pool. Stupidly throw in words with the bridges, discussing the advantages of local water. Drink a little beer and again. Before sunset. Kenya – Stable Country: Sunset, and sunrise – at the beginning of the seventh, regardless of the time of year and the political situation in the country. Then dinner. Wear yourself in a plate exactly as much as you eat. To at least partially swallow food, order beer or wine (bless your loss from papaya). Drink strong coffee. After dinner, fall in the bed to the bed, or first drink and only then fall in the bed. In the morning get up healthy and happy. For the week you are so tired of this daily shaking from morning to evening, all these got everything "exotic animals", So much of this damned malarious mosquito was assimperated by Gin with a tonic that I would like to fall and sleep a day.

Hakuna Matata!

And just at this point you take you under the white handle and ship in the car of the first class of the train Nairobi – Mombasa. Then, from the train overload to the bus, which brings you to a chic hotel, standing on the very coast of the Indian Ocean.

Mombasa – the next stage of cleansing the head from the extra thoughts (in the second week of staying in Kenya you understand that almost all thoughts are extra). And firmly assimilate the main Kenyan rule, heard on the safari and the stuck that in Kenya "Hakuna Matata", that translated means "no problem". There is even such a special Kenyan song, which twenty five times repeats this "Akun Matata". This song immediately learn all the tourists. At that moment, when you finally find yourself on the coast, you realize that all seemingly insoluble life difficulties do not really exist.

Since last time my acquaintance with Kenya was limited to Safari Week, I did not understand what the need to spend the whole week on the coast. Why ride so far, if all the charms of the seafood for much smaller money can be obtained in Turkey. Now I know that if I broke out on the safari, then you only need to rest on the ocean only in Kenya.

I can not imagine a vacation planned more rationally. Week you communicate with nature, gradually reaching a condition in which if you can argue that you are Homo, then it’s not quite sure that sapience. And then the ocean is gradually returning to civilization. African. On the coast, all tourists get acquainted with the second major Kenyan rule: "Field-Field" (Pole-Pole), which means "slowly slowly". If you order a waiter at the beginning of the lunch, he will bring him just by the time you will deal with the dessert. And do not be angry with him, scold for negligence and try to explain that orders need to be performed instantly – it is useless. He listens to you carefully, but the next order will execute with exactly the same speed. In Mombasas, the main thing – to have time to switch to "Military" Rhythm Safari on the rhythm of coastal life. And not to collect abundant dinner with the speed of an animal that fearful that he will be taken away the mined piece. Strong and alignment to bypass the table with numerous snacks and choose what I want to eat today, then the contents of a plate in the stomach slowly, and by the time you understand that it is time to go for hot, you just bring beer. And with whatever pleasure you heat these wonderful Kenyan beer fried lamb or pork chop! And then, completely collapsed from the dessert, you will still find the strength of Upoltfi to the bar, where you order Jean with Tonic. And you will give it another fifteen minutes until you bring it. But the slowness of the waiter will no longer annoy. "Pole-Pole" Will enter your blood. Day on the third, if some other brain departments will keep their performance, you can notice yourself as a participant in unusual mice. Before you there is a waiter (approached, naturally, not earlier than five minutes after you expressed the desire to make an order), and you stare for it for five minutes, I am going to figure out why he, in fact, you needed. Then, finally, with a significant effort we guessed that I would like to drink something.

Two hours in a soft chair, treacherously located to sleep, for a glass of Gina with a tonic digest dinner and the clock to eleven suddenly remember that you need to somehow have fun. You order a taxi and go to the nearest disco (of course, there is a disco and in your hotel, but they are more interesting on the side). And in the morning you will crap on the beach, under the palm. For lovers of outdoor activities here are provided here a complete set of all imaginary water entertainment. If there is no longer anything on the activity, you can simply wander along the coast and chat with the local population. You will definitely ask where you come from, and hearing that from Russia, I will definitely remember Yeltsin and then invite go to see "The best and cheapest goods". All the beach is littered with benches, and every two meters right on the sand there are beach "Shelves". Traded here, mainly, wood figures (including black) and stone. Prices really low. Much lower than in stores located near Reserves. And the main advantage of the local shopping is that it is possible to bargain to bargain. You can bargain in all Kenyan shops, but because on the beach you are not constrained by any temporary framework, and in general, you have nothing to do with dinner, then you knock down prices to ridiculous sums. And you do not want, and something can you buy. On the second day you appear familiar Kenyans, who, with your appearance of the Indian Ocean, joyfully shout: "Jumbo" ("Hey", In our opinion).

– Jumbo! – Justily answer you. And you hear the usual "Pole-Pole".

And again under the palm tree – long under the equatorial sun should not be brought: you can burn. But despite such a severe salts, the climate in Kenya is a fabulous. Heat almost do not feel. Cool breeze blows from the ocean. And in the depths of the country in the evenings without a sweater can not do.

And the day passes. Then another, then the third. And suddenly suddenly it turns out that it is time to fly to Moscow. And this news fills you with horror. Pole-Pole, where to rush? What job? What are the cases? Why in Moscow? Here is so wonderful "Hakuna Matata". All, no more "Akun Matat", tells you your ticket with a fixed date of departure. Pouring flammable tears, you sit down on the Kenyan airline plane, which delivers you from Mombasa to Nairobi. And there you already get into the arms of the native Aeroflot. Everything. In Moscow, you will quickly explain that the Akun Matata is only in Kenya. In general, I rather quickly agreed. But ten days after return, I observe two persistent relapses. First, I get upset because the sellers do not agree on the market three times to reduce the price of tomatoes. Secondly, when the chief editor urgently requires an article, I want to tell him "Pole-Pole". That, of course, is useless, because he does not know a word on Swahili and never was in Kenya. However, it is his problems. I have now "Hakuna Matata".

The editors thanks Kenyan firm "Highways Tours & Safaris" For help in preparing the material.

Hakuna Matata!

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