"Khali-gena" trips" Chapter One: Egypt
Good "Pharaoh" – dead "Pharaoh". (Cycinic gangs of the Chicago Gangsters of the Dry Law.) Since the times of the dry law is irretrievably passed, to make sure in the justice of the above conclusion can be only one way – by visiting the country where these very pharaohs were born and where they were safely extinct, leaving behind huge piles of stones and bust of Nefertiti with outperfilled ears.
Departure (flying?). Being moving, rather, the desire to change the wet-gray pectic carbon dioxide on the sip of red-sulfur oxygen, the desire to plunge into the plane of someone’s civilization, your humagon with noise and gamas sat down into the plane, flying away to the notorious Hurghada, located in a notorious Egyptian Africa, which is actually wrong, because there are no blacks there, but there are hairy Arabs.
The noise and gaps before departure turned out to be absolutely automatically when the latitude of 120 Russian souls, taking "on the will, in the pampas" It was imposed on a two-hour idleness due to flight delay. Knowing in advance that in Egypt, a dry law, and you can bring with you only one and a half liters of forty-portus, the whole tours station long and pickyly chose these one and a half liters in the local Free-Shop. Time remained a lot, and it was decided to skip fifty in the only bar. Fifty were nothing but cost exactly four dollars. And in a duty-free shop behind the angle of half a liter of the same – only seven. As a result of serious thoughtfulness, each inhabited by toak tourist turned out to be an extra minimum of 0.5, requiring compulsory destruction before the passage of the strict Egyptian customs. Surplus were destroyed during the almost five-hour flight (no more accurate memories are registered) in Egypt profits without smuggling goods, but with songs, dancing and having a small banknote in the pockets of the stunning followers of Magomet, standing throughout with automatic machines.
Then everyone, apparently, successfully, placed in the hotel, as it was there and was buried the next day our exhausted overhanas. The five-star Grand Hotel is a huge horseshoe, buried the ends in the sandy shore of the Red Sea. In the center of the horseshoe – swimming pool with sun loungers and tables for fans of fresh air. Right to the pool can be enjoyed drinking-snack on Pulkovo-Bofoft Prices. As it turned out, a dry law on tourists does not apply. Service personnel – Rollipulated boys with the appearance of club regulars "69" This law was also silent, successfully sentenced my St. Petersburg stock with me.
Breakfast: occurs from 7 to 10 am. People who are accustomed to running a night lifestyle, breakfasts are chosen with difficulty, but, choosing once, bitterly regretted about the previously lost chance. Among the huge number of covered in Swedish (not to be confused with love) tables, it costs several automata, free and in any number of outstanding a variety of cooled juices. The thing is that water from under the crane in Egypt cannot be drunk, and one and a half liters of ordinary drinking water costs exactly 1.5 dollars. These automata as an ukkuduk (in the sense, very by the way).
During dinner, the machines are cleaned, and any drink, except tea and coffee, only for cash. They think – they have such a trick. Pubbed, they say, tourist for the whole day on the beach and in the evening I am ready to post the last blood for a sip of water. But our tourist "Cushion tubes" Just in the morning, and the contents of the automata disappears in 10-15 minutes. And by the evening he restored his acid-alkaline balance, only coffee and give.
In addition to juices, for breakfast, all kinds of vegetables-fruit-sweets, which are part of the morning with difficulty and species of twenty-tender-white-pink milk-fish dishes without a name, but included in principle.
Day. After breakfast, the hotel turns into Bendery Rio. Ninety-nine percent of the population of the hotel (about 1,200 people) dress white socks-short-t-shirt-t-shirt-caps and hanging on their fifty-year-old photo and camcorder pouse, go to absorb historical heritage. You did not want to familiarize yourself with the 3-khnyyadnye dead (there were such a person eight such) go hang on the beach or a small journey through the city. Hurghada is rather not a city, but a highway, 20-30 kilometers long, built on both sides exactly to the width of one or two buildings. One end of the highway – the area of hotels and beaches, where the Aborigines practically do not allow. Another end – the central square, market, shops, restaurants and other destroying ruins. For the entire city, two policemen who are all afraid of like fire, three private cars, a lot of incomplete Ishakov and goats, stalling through the streets and almost a single local Gulchatai. In the midst of this well-being, the unwashed owners of numerous laurels are sitting right on Earth and consider themselves the crown of creation, and we are walking by in white pants and a couple of hundreds in his pocket, consider garbage, not comprehended the true beauty of the existence. Our ladies of aborigines are called exclusively "Natasha", Apparently tested once a powerful influx "Priests of love" with a similar name. But the laws will suffer hard. There are no alarms, there are no thieves. If Arab hit the tourist – he threatens "Shot" Article (and may, "Crabal", just not known).
For the overall impression of one exit to the city, the rest of the time it is better to devote to the tan. The beaches of the Red Sea are covered with a non-usable sandbox, but some kind of clay crumb that covers, however, not only the beaches, but also the entire foreseeable surface of the country. Painlessly walks only in shoes, but sunbathing on the sun beds. Ladies sunbathe standing. Divine loose-white volume of Berlin and Copenhagen Matron fully open for the African Sun and Atrophied views of their satellites. Summary Erotic Panoptikum for Bosch and Rubens lovers. Exactly in 17.30 The Sun is turned off like a light bulb, and to six o’clock it becomes dark, as in Malevich’s picture.
In dinner, a certain discomfort creates the lack of soups and apparently forced meat. In meat shops, on the hooks hang two or three pieces of something deceased simultaneously with the pharaohs and make sure to think about unfair fate "Ships desert".
In the markets sell how much alive chickens. But if the feed is not growing for "Meat", what they feed the bird? Fish dishes are plenty, but they are all in a fried-pate form, and therefore tasty, but are unrecognizable. The most crazy dish – fried cucumbers. There is not risked!
Having finished dinner, everyone to the best of his corruption, begins to eat all sorts of innocence, the choice of koi is not so great. For less damaged, there is a game on the harp in the local buffet and the daily show of rather young Italians. The System of Stanislavsky at the show-cores is not completely absent, and they inspire the English and French musicals, opening the mouths under the phonograms prescribed by professional opera singers. For those who eager for anything more active, through the road there is a nightclub in the style of the fishing southwestern disco on the second floor of typical "glass". Prices are the same. Four dollars for all. Either 50 grams or half-liter beer "Stella", Similar to our "Troychka". If desired, you can wipe on nightly institutions of neighboring hotels. In one managed to make the show-ballet of four large-caliber Russians, dancing, in accordance with local laws, in full.
Muslim laws, or, simply speaking, "Muslim", Allowed to have four wives, but they all have the right to go out, just wrapped with black rags. It’s almost impossible to get close to the Arabic lady to get closely. Putting a horn and promising a taxi driver of $ 100, we risked to go to a similar experiment. At about 6 in the morning, under the rays of the rising sun, it became clear that the taxi driver simply cools the counter, imitating active searches for hundred dollar "Khabibie" (beloved). I had to explain that "Ai Um Crazy", Help about this is available and put me for killing a submerged taxi driver. Ride back to the hotel was fast and absolutely free.
But if there is a desire to get real pleasure, you need to do not care about all European leisure comforts and simply go into the sea to coral reefs. Sea – for him here it is worth going.
First, it (sea) – blue. Not green, gray, dirty and so on, namely blue. Secondly, it is salty. It is impossible to drown. If you try to dive with the lower deck of the boat, – pushes the cork. If with the top, – pushes the cork and panties fall. You can simply lie on the water and do nothing. You wear a mask, look down, you do not feel the body, and under you the endless blue abyss.
If anyone is inexperienced – very scary. Therefore, the climb did not risk the scuba, but I swallowed with a mask. Hefty colored fishes are absolutely calmly swim around and phlegmatically scrub to a muddy eye. Feed take straight out of the hands, especially love raw potatoes. Nature Riddle: After all, potatoes are not growing on the shore. Fish Shoot it is impossible, corals can not be enough. Fine to two thousand dollars. The overall impression spoils what is on every coral, on every kneel-pebble, right under water, hanging on the depth "Do not touch!".
All Red Sea is not wildlife, but a well-kept reserve with guides, signs and rules of behavior. Feel yourself not. AND. Coust, and visitor zoo. But beautiful-
Back flew even more noisy, since everyone was already familiar with each other. As a result, two hours in two to Peter, in "alive" There were only members of the crew and three most persistent fighters: one artist, one athlete and one liter "Finland", Fallen from the team already on the adjustment to Pulkovo-II. As a result, I returned to the hubby and rested.
General impressions: Egypt, as a piece of iron from one, very famous cartoon. No water, no vegetation, no minerals are not, inhabited by Arabs. There are no blacks either, but there are three semi-sized camels and a lot of dead pharaohs. Conclusion: there is something to see, no one to show.