I love you, distant pier

In places far from the tourist routes and does not particularly famous, you can get there only by chance, by a strange coincidence. But Germany – is not only Berlin, Cologne, Frankfurt, Hamburg, Munich. Much Does a foreigner learns of Russia, visited or having lived in Moscow, St. Petersburg and Orel? Something will understand, but much remains hidden.

Once me and my friend, also an artist of Russia, was invited to do an exhibition in a German village, or rather, not even in the village and on the farm. He was not far from the village Ganderkesee in turn located 50 kilometers from Bremen. In this very remote area had "Kunstverein", and where we are able to realize their artistic ideas. The idea at first seem strange, but the conditions it is very tempting: full "carte-blanche", money on the materials being printed catalog, free round trip and hotel stay gratis. Upon reflection, we agreed.

First, that is "Kunst-verein", or "Art society". Kunstverein first began to organize the rich burghers as early as the seventeenth century, to support local artists – and, of course, to satisfy their own vanity. In essence, they were charitable associations that existed at the contributions made by members and to feed the artists, writers and musicians. Currently Germany covers such associations network. Some of them, like the Kunstverein Bonn, Cologne or Düsseldorf, are enormous, very prestigious institutions, competing with giants like the Pompidou Center or the Museum of Modern Art in New York. And there are dwarf – like Kunstverein Ganderkzee. Now the meaning of these institutions is not only in the development of culture and improving the image of the city, but also has an economic attraction for its members. Contributions on culture allows very important to write off taxes, except under the Kunstverein can get a grant from the state or corporations.

Members of our kunstonean were a local mayor, a lawyer, a tooth physician, pharmacist and owner of the plumbing factory. Director – Local Architect. And the exhibition hall served huge – under 600 square meters of the attic of his ancient farm house.

God knows why they needed an exhibition of Russian artists. Maybe because in these parts of the Russians have not yet seen. But what was pleasantly surprised – not only the cultural audience of the county, but also lovers of art from Bremen, Hamburg and even Düsseldorf. Germans are generally easy to rise.

This corner of Germany, located near the sea, bordering the Denmark and Holland, is generally very peculiar. Beautiful nature – thick, but clean forests, meadows, fields, rivers and lakes, a little similar to Estonian. Proximity to port Hanseatic cities, Bremen and Hamburg, worn in opposition to the emperors and kings used by the wide autonomy and open ocean winds, played a big role in the formation of the psychology of residents of these places. They are more cosmopolitan than other Germans. Once from here, the relatives of the Scandinavian Vikings were gone from here, then sailors were born here, flewing in distant overseas countries. Colonial trade – tea, coffee, spices – has long been a specialty of Hanseatic merchants. English influences are strong here, in the local dialect a lot of English words, and some areas of burdens with their two-storey houses, steep stairs to the door and small barisades look completely in British. Anglfilia explains to the addiction of this northwestern branch of the German people to firmly, truly brewing tea. In the morning it drinks it without fail with milk, and in five afternoon with "Cookies". Yes, and coffee here is boosted hard, not as the Germans usually make it.

Another feature of the Hanseatic Territory is an adherence to individualistic, liberal politics, also quite "Island". XDS / HSS here almost always turns out to be in a minority, and the most liberal social democrats benefit and "Green".

At the same time, the sailor velvet powder with a decorated pattern of oak leaves, such a nice heart of the elderly German nationalists and in.V. Zhirinovsky, comes from these places.

I heard the first word at the local dialect on the Bremen station from Claus, director of Kunstifein, a two-meter bearded blond with blue eyes. Stretching his hand, he said: "Moin". Pronounced it "Mooyne" Gunningly, with a decrease in tone and occurs, apparently, from "Gut Morgen", but applied not only in the morning, but at any time of the day. The inhabitants of the Bremensky district, no matter, familiar or not, when meeting, in the forest or in a bank, exchange this benevolent flow.

Claus brought me to the destination. Farm "TSUR FERSETERS" Presents a few gigantic brick houses with Fakhverkom – a frame of oak brusons, – with straw or roving roofs, green shutters and platbands and bells on the doors. Between the houses, meadows and fields, fascinated by alive hedges, where she grabbed and walks all sorts of living. I’ll tell you about her, however,.

I was walked with my friend in Gasthaus "Schwarzer Adler". Guesthouse is a small family board, usually in rural areas or on the periphery of the city. Contains his family, sometimes hiring a cook, a cleaner or waiter. What is the title – here the Germans are extremely unbeatable, numerous "Black eagles" They are abundant from Frankfurt-on-Oder to Munich. However, other nations also do not direct their fantasy on the names of restaurants and hotels. In any settlement of France, you will eventually be rested in "Relais des Copains" – "Pier friends", or "Cafe de La Rozte" – "Postal cafe". And I would feel sorry if we renamed our "Minima", "Holidays" and "Tourists".

Handerkesee "Black Eagle" represented a new building in "Real Staronenets Speach", What thousand throughout the country. Heavy Dark Furniture, Lace Curtains, Copper Chandeliers, "Gothic" Stained-glass windows, wiggled ceiling oak beams from polyurethane. Bright room with a giant lush bed, watercolor, depicting the local godfather, and a bathroom with a multitude of functional cranes – for housing.

In Germany, it is difficult to imagine something not received by the local legend or emergency event of local significance. V "Black Eagle" on farm "TSUR FERSETERS" A year before our appearance there managed to enter the driver’s chauffeur. Enter the literal sense of the word: break the wall, conquer the tables in the restaurant and stay in twenty centimeters from the bar. However, no one has suffered. This outstanding event was a decent way illuminated by the entire local press, the proof of which is a showcase with photocopies of newspaper articles and photos "Black eagle", With a tracker sticking out of it, located in the most prominent place. Another relic of the restaurant did not immediately attract our attention. In the dark corner hung a glass box with a wreath of something resembling seeded human hair. We did not immediately decide to ask an eternally welcoming elderly mistress, Frau Lizbeth, what would it mean. Three days, bumps of cumin vodka – risked.

– So this is my cute grossmuter hair, wonderful woman was!

This message did not spoil my attitude to the family "Black eagle", on Tomasmannovsky good-natured and restrained warm, but in the dark angle I tried not to watch anymore. Loved from there Auschwitim.

The Germans are generally incredibly incredible to Kish, and yes forgive me the prisoners of concentration camps, but I suspect that the release of abubsters from human skin has caused not only the Nazi cannibalism, but also an innocent German craving for "Beautiful".

– Aber, what to disappear such a good material when you can make a beautiful thing?

The eternal confrontation of the ideal and material, on which the incredible building of the Great German philosophy has grown, a mixture of a high guar of the spirit and sophisticated pragmatism, eternally insoluble contradiction of ruddy health and unthinkable madness. Once upon a time, one of my acquaintances, Berlin professor culturologist, told me: "Germans their notorious Ordnung is needed because otherwise they just fuck. We are the most distinctive nation of Europe and themselves wake up the strait shirts. Sometimes, however, it ends badly".

First, his statement seemed to me paradoxical, but then, when he became acquainted with Germany, I realized that he was right. German can be cordial, smart, ironic, infinitely kind and hospital, but suddenly, no with this, if he will take his favorite sausage, will throw an empty cigarette package under his window, – it is able to transform into a monster crazy.

And since the Germans are in the mass of people healthy and greed, then in such a state are a great danger. So they are engaged in self-medication.

And now – about geographic, zoological and antiorological background Handerkesee. Handerkesee means "Lake Gusey", Rather, "Gosyat". In general, in German, one word is called the sea, and even a small lake. We found several small ponds, but the geese in them swam in size with a good sheep. This is generally the edge of big things and great creatures. Ducks here with a goose; About the geese is already said, chicken – the size of turkey, and even with huge legs, crossed lush feathers, like sailor glue; Turkeys are similar to the lowest ostriches; Sheep compete with an impressive boring; Pigs are comparable with the usual cows. Cows would not be ashable to the neighborhood with bison. Apparently, in contrast to such "Sobesevic" abundance to show that "Small – beautiful", Local farmers are breeding the horses of the Icelandic breed, the growth of a little bit of ponies, with dying round muzzle, wave-like wool and rarity by nonsense. Interestingly, the representatives of the wild fauna – hares, roebles, hedgehogs and boys, which are many, contain themselves in the format, by the prescribed burden. Like the contents for the beauty of peacocks. Here I first learned that Pavlin, it turns out, even badly, but still know how to fly. Sometimes you can see these feathery sitting on the rod of the roof and a bad voice of screaming from there. Then, they, twisting their heads, fall down, chloride the wings, and landed, dismissed the fan and scream again, apparently, come delighted with their own courage and talent. How they climb on the roof – I do not know.

At home – under the pet. Golyanskiy, built on the century. Some of them stand with the XVI century. Downstairs – residential chambers and services, upstairs – the attic used earlier for the storage of the hay. Spacious kitchen with a huge stove, blue-white faience plates and copper dishes on the walls. Often – gothic slogans gothic letters "God bless our hearth" or "Friendship and Love – Pledge of decent old age". The same embroidered cross on linen towels.

People live in these homes, they are relevant. Men growing less than 190 and weak floor representatives below 180 I have not met. The people are all – in juice, without excessive obesity, but also without urban. Naturally, their cars do not belong to the category of fashionable dutinomes now. Large "Mercedes", often old, but in excellent condition, the same "BMW", Trucks and jeeps. In the jeep, however, there is no need for a lot of necessity: even in rainy weather and forest and country roads are more like masturbated highways. Another significant manifestation of the local giantism is a huge, long meter long, the oblong mounds from manure covered with black polyethylene.

And forests separated by meadows, pastoons and fields, excellent. Quite like somewhere west of Moscow, but spacious and clean. Oaks, pines, beech transfer, sometimes suddenly ate; Looping sandy paths.

All this managed to see how to see, because immediately about the arrival, the director Klaus gave us a bike on which we rode around the district. Fawin that art classes left a lot of time for less responsible, but more pleasant pastime.

Looked at, little in it realizing, Northonemetskaya agriculture. The first thing that we, Russian citizens, washed – that everything seems to happen in itself. Farmers are not visible, cows and other liveliness graze without intervention, fields are getting like wild grass. But cows – fat, spools – full, peasants come in the evening "Knaip" clearly tired.

Then we noticed that the pastures for livestock are not framed, as we, hedges, and even more so do not embroy the barbed wire. Instead – at the height of centimeters in 30 stretches the wire, which passed the current with volt voltage, or 20. For some reason, the cows and sheep are not overgrown through it, but they are interested in what it is, they touch the nose, and electricity is weakly stamped them. Invention ingenious, but again having unequivocal prototypes. Director Klaus, seeing our interest in this, explained: "Fences After all, spoil the landscape, and barbed wire – very much nicht sch". Perhaps. But it would be better if the inventive and aesthetic Germans came up with something even more sophisticated.

Called us in Handerkesea three weeks before the opening of the exhibition, so that time was a lot, and especially strain about art did not have to. Moreover, "Labour Organization" was in German punctual. Germans generally work very slowly, without labor attacks. In contrast, for example, from the French, who in the morning to lunch are boiling as caustic, and then by accepting their "Dejeuuner", Blowing into dreamy drowsiness until the end of the working day, when the kiphen romance energy is awakened in them again. The Germans are – slowly, rotational, but in the morning and in the evening they are doing their right to work. If we needed nails or paints of a certain species, if necessary to do 3.000 xeroxes, deliver the necessary tools or establish electricity – everything was done exactly on time and without reminder. First it even nervous.

Our pastime was rather similar to rest in a good sanatorium. Sometimes we joined the train and went to Bremen to wander through the wonderful, completely toy streets of the historic center of the city, Stornorring. It is possible that there are not always residents "Hansa Stadt Bremen" were such giants as today. Otherwise, it is impossible to understand why they used to build tiny houses – the width of the facade of the meter three, the height of the floors of Liliputskaya, but deeply go to the whole quarter. And divide the quarters of the streets are so narrow that sometimes it’s hard to disperse in them. Dominics – Multicolored, with many decorations, gilded coat of arms, pots with flowers and other charms. Admired the bell with porcelain bells and moving figures, once a hour playing puppet music. Walking along the Embankment of the Weser, slowly flowing to her mouth, Bremerhaven. We went there, in the city-harbor, through the extended sea wind, impregnated with the mythology of distant wanderings. Hundreds of vessels – from Schok duck and ancient brigs to super-modern giant ships.

Ride bicycles around the neighborhoods, forests and fields. Sometimes when I wanted "civilization", went to the village of Gandardkesee. Actually, it is rather small township with everything necessary for quiet provincial life. Ancient church, "Stadtshalle", Supermarket, several shops, mail, hospital, hotel and several Pitean-Enthanizals. As well as cinema, hairdresser and tattooing workshop. And absolute purity, vibrant hi-rose and well-kept houses under tiled roofs.

To kill time, we went to the hairdresser. My buddy sat down in the chair first, I looked through the magazines, from time to time looking at how it was going on with his haircut. What was my surprise when I saw that as the last stroke, a hairdresser tonsured my friend’s eyebrows!

Well, I thought, in any fantasy, and a friend of my eyebrows almost Brezhnevsky, you can cut. My turn came up, the master brought his head into the proper order, I was already going to get up, but here he made his hand holding back gesture and reached my, much more modest eyebrows.

What it means, I still do not know, none of my German friends could explain. The only hypothesis was – "Probably, they, oriental friezes, so accepted".

In our religious, "Black Eagle", Almost all the time we lived alone. Sometimes some successors stopped on the day. The meaning of the existence of this hotel with a dozen rooms for me is hidden in the same way as the sacrament of trimming eyebrows. Restaurant on weekdays was almost empty. On Sundays, farmers from the county went on Sundays.

Our day began with breakfast. German breakfast, "Kleine Fruhstuck", especially in rural restaurant, is a serious matter. Several varieties of bread, boiled eggs, several varieties of sausages, ham and cheese, cottage cheese, oil, vegetables, fruits, milk, jam. The Germans have a saying: "Breakfast like a kaiser, dinner like a king, dinner as poor". Of course, tea or coffee. Tea in these places drink necessarily with brown crude reed sugar – tribute to the ancient colonial tradition. Such sugar is less harmful and gives tea a special taste, but it will very badly dissolve, and while it will be able to stir – tea becomes irreparable cold.

I love you, distant pier

When the plates were emptied, Frau Lizbeth or her daughter, Freine Elsa, came up with a welcoming smile asked:

"Gut Gesmkt?" – "That was tasty?"

"JA, JA", – We answered.

The question is ritual, it is set during every meal, but with the answer we did not sin.

Local lunch is even more serious. On the first day, without silenting with local scales, I ordered "Fischtaffel" – "a fish dish", Considering to get a plate with several pieces of different fish and two and three shrimps. In front of me, it was precisely the dish of the size of almost the table, where they were resting: a whole cambala, half of the halotus, cod fillets, Langustina, a dozen of large pink shrimp and a dozen of small gray and dozen mussels. Fortunately, my buddy, who arrived in two days earlier, was already aware of the customs and therefore helped me not offend the owners of food left on a plate, and not to make an absurd question: "Gut Goughmba?".

Also, in Lukullovski-Someone, the case was and with the schnitzels – the length of the elbow, the bifschtex – the thickness of almost in the palm, the goulash – served in a half-wood suits.

Under the contract for lunch, we had to pay themselves, but it was possible at best times, because after "Gut Goughmba? – Yia, Yia, Dunk" And requests to give an account polite, but solid refusal: "You are our guests, the Russians we have never happened here, in general you are good guys, artists we love, eat, eat, eat". If we consider that Claus and his wife Elka, too, all the time we were drunk by local delicacies – "Bismarcksheering" (Bismarck herring) with Antonovka, fresh sour cream, crumbly potatoes and dill, or homely cake with blueberries and strawberries, how they were expressed earlier in the USSR, "recover" We had inevitably in this northonemiets resort. Especially it bothered my wife, broken down to us for a week from Paris.

It was difficult when the cook Heinz realized that I was though Russian, but arrived from France, and therefore it should understand the kitchen. Here he remembered that he became interested in Strasbourg and let go of his fantasy from the German Ultrasound – began to make sophisticated omelets with forest mushrooms and Westphalian ham, bake some souffle, and once even made arabic cous.

To assimilate all this abundant and heavy food, it was necessary to use a lot of liquid with alcohol content. First of all, of course, beer. Bremen beer excellent. We are well known brand "Beckhs", Light beer, easy, very refreshing. But one thing when you drink it from a bottle or cans, the other is when it was brought in the barrel in the morning from the factory, an unpasteurized, freshest. Pouring beer to the glass is a real ritual, it lasts ten minutes, so that foam, settling, has resumed all the time and before serving the table, the air hill was represented on the table above the edge of the glass. Wine in Germany, in general, so-so, but sometimes, for a variety, drank and his. And the dinners were completed with a glass of Tsmino-Anisian Danish "Aquavita", Pear vodka or "Afelkorn".

In the evening, not to abuse hospitality "Black eagle", We went to another institution that came to the farm, "In Kaban". If the roadside "Eagle" had some claim for involvement in changing times, then "Boar", Hidden on the sideline behind the ancient oaks, was an example of commitment to the original traditions. In the evenings, the peasants from the farm were gathered here, playing cards and on billiards and loaded hotly to quite conditioned condition. Commanded the station’s local policeman. That is, this huge gentleman with swirling mustes, somewhat similar to Kabani fangs, served by the police only in even days, according to the odd one, was noticed his brother in the bar. What did the brother did in odd days – it was not possible to find out. And for some reason we fell into "Boar" It is when the guard order, painted, wrapped with cranes, glasses and bottles. For the first glass, you managed to pay. The following happened next: "Listen, you tried it?" If answered – "No", then followed – "So try". If I said that I already tried, then – "So, did not try, try more". Attempts to refuse ended in collapse. "Yes, you stop, you are Russian, we know that the Russians are cool to drink, look, won a pag of like drinks, you are not ashamed?" All this interrupted interest in the political problems of Russia, issues of football, comparative analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of Russian and German alcohol and types of crops in Russia. As well as inevitable questions about whether we are not offended by the Germans for what they did during the war. Hour later we chose from "Kabana" Under the clear starry sky or drizzling rain and Brere, breathing the smell of manure and bevelled grass, listening to the singing of birds and rare horses, to its cozy bed in "Black Eagle".

Two times we witnessed the celebration in this area of ​​the Golden Wedding and the Decade of the existence of the auto repair shop. The fact is that in addition to the usual restaurant hall in "Black Eagle" There was a separate intended for banquets.

Guests went there and moved – man 50. They were similar, one in one, on visitors to the same events somewhere in the Kursk region. Of course, with cultural and economic differences. Ladies at the age, with lush curiors and in tightly fitting bright dresses with sweeps on powerful bust, the elderly gentlemen in Sunday costumes, in the wide, bought twenty years ago, ties. The audience is a notch – in denim jackets embroidered with glass and rugs, with many jewelry and non-harmony make-up, messenger guys with earrings, in silk white shirts and incredible jackets resembling a mix of tuxedo with pajama. Enchantable children: Girls with huge bows in turning dresses and closed boys in butterflies and suits-troops. All chinno sat at the table, raised toasts; When the faces of Krasnel, the dancing time came – under the American "Disco" and the sweet German pop. And finally, again behind the tables, solemn and driving songs were singing, which, probably sang their great-grandfathers. Not very foldable, confusing, but still keeping the likeness of the three-grade and canon.

Once Claus grabbed us with me on a wine-beer warehouse in Ghadderkesee, where he stuck up with a drink for a week. Being a Bremen patriot, he used only local beer, but, noticing my love for dark Bavarian varieties, I decided to please me. Hour we walked along the huge cool room, looking at many barrels, bottles and bottles. Communicated with the owner, the elderly Krasnonosh Mr. Rubensovsky, tasting various beer. Around us immediately formed a circle of old men, regulars of this institution. Historical predestination – Naturally, among them were also those who saw Russia under certain circumstances. Including one who visited Soviet captivity. He has very good memories. "I never just shot at all, all in the kitchen was stuck (maybe it’s true), but after our people have done, could you all sole. But they fed, the work was given, and the potato was not always rotten!" Another lord of old age, drove, began to sing "Katyusha", confess the love of Russian and try to hug with us. Claus fastened, dragged me aside and said: "Don’t tell you with him, he is a bastard, the former Nazi, and now the same, shit, retired financial inspector".

Experience sympathy for Natsi, and even a financial inspector, and the truth is impossible.

We retired, grabbing a box "Paulaner" and drawer "Franciscner", Paid by generous hand of German art historians.

Finally, the opening day of the exhibition. German champagne was harvested – "sect", Some of the French wine of the uncomplicated quality, the sea of ​​beer and the mountains of the Tans and Canopa. In this hour, guests gathered: Mayor Handerkesee and the mayor of DillemoShorst, the nearest town, Kunstifein members, their families, art lovers from Bremen and more remote places, family "Black eagle", People are "Kabana", Enchantable inhabitants of Tsur Ferkey, representatives of local media.

German Vernissage is a long, measured and serious ceremony. At first, the mayors read – about their joy about the cultural exchange with Russia, the long cultural traditions of the land entrusted to them and the latest achievements in the economy. Then the word said specially invited art historian from Moscow. Finally, Professor-Russist from Oldenburg, it seems that the university also said, and then he held the public along the works, explaining what it was and what he had to mean. Only after that shudded plugs.

Of course, three weeks on the German farm is not a god of message what experience, but still.

I love you, distant pier

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