In Rio – in the morning, day and evening

When you return to the country where I once lived and which I loved very much, then you yourself nor others do not consider you a tourist. And then the chance appears to look at the country from the inside, and not just watch the air-conditioned busement window. Make friends, understand how people live that they are wondering what worries them, in general, to turn into a month in Aboriginal.

In short, a day on the road, and I am in Rio. In what kind of rio? In Rio de Janeiro, that was the dream of the Osta Bender: Golden Sand Copacabana, Men Alloy in White Pants, Women – In Bikini. Stop. Illusions of tourists. Copacabana – the dirtiest beach Rio. On the sidewalk in front of five-star hotels right on Earth, accustomed to newspapers, they lie sniffing cheap glue children (the glue helps to fight with a feeling of hunger and loneliness).

Men in white pants are, these are tourists. Native Carioki (residents of Rio de Janeiro) prefer style "Surf – my life": rubber slippers for two dollars, T-shirt (the original color is impossible to determine, as it fastened five years old, the gate stretches, on the belly small holes) and shorts. Shorts must be two more and crawl so that the cleaner is visible. Lingerie is not welcome. Brazilian chic.

Real Brazilian Men (all very beautiful) Never take a towel with you – they shake water like dogs. Solar umbrellas Excess – Shadow will give a chalkboard for surf. They never sunbathe on the beach, so that the straw mattress is also without need (actually sunbathe, but in secret so that no one has seen, because dark skin is a reason for pride, testimony of temperament and Afro-Indian roots. This is honorable.). The body must be flawless – all swing and run, not being.

Now Lyric. Brazilian women. Proud mulatto, meticulous, Creoles (and a little white). All with perfect forms of the part that is behind below the belt and what it is more, the better. Discussion of this part of the female body – a national male sport (so common that constitutes soccer competing). On the beach Brazilian woman goes to Bikini (normal, the average Brazilian woman buys somewhere 8-10 bikini for the season, this year it is fashionable to wear out of one and bottom from another bikini), slippers on the platform and kang (a rectangular piece of fine cotton, With a picture or without, can act as skirts, dresses, sundhan, top – on what the imagination is enough, on the beach on it sunbatches), in the ears there are big earrings from shells, on the shoulder. In a bag: a towel, a tanning cream, a sunbathing oil, a moisturizer cream, hair combing cream (Brazilian women are usually long hair for brazilian men for them and kiss – this is such a national fun), wallet, book.

Near the girlfriend – someone must follow all these junk, until it dip. Brazilian women in the ocean do not swim – they slowly enter the water, wait until the wave passes, diphinte, are diagnosed, check where bikini, spectacular movement remove excessive moisture with long hair, slightly run into the sand (which is surprising, it turns out even at 130 -Kylogram mulatto – that’s what experience means), correct a tiny bikini (this is the main occupation of a woman on the beach – constantly correct, move and inspect bikini) and proudly return to their place, hitting the beauty of all hot surfers within a radius of 100 meters.

For the next half an hour before the next dipping, it is provided with a class – surfers will find somewhere with a tanning cream and will smear her back (the most common way to dating the beach). Women never sunbathe topless (in the whole state of Rio de Janeiro only three nudist beach, in the capital – not one that is not surprising: in this country there is a swimsuit – outerwear, you won’t come to work without a blouse). Then, it is harmful for delicate skin, and the sun in Brazil is ruthless. Well, the third reason, I think the main thing: Brazilian men love when a woman’s footprints are traces from a swimsuit.

Winter weather (+ 23c – it’s cold), it is impossible to go to the beach – let’s not. Need to master. Brazilians are very sociable and friendly people – it is possible to tie a conversation, and you need with anyone, in five minutes you are already the best friends, in the evening we go to drink beer together, on Friday – to dance, and on Saturday you are already on family Saturday kebab. They generally love to arrange holidays. Different: Ball-fantasy about the birthday, holiday in the sports club, holiday opening season (selective, surf, skate, carnival, bodyboard, fishing on someone, summer, winter, rain, drought), beer holiday every Friday, the acquisition of a new Machines, new girls, tattoos, piercing, Seref Boards (Mario Flavio developed a new shape), a pink swimsuit – exactly what she wanted to complete or start a new project at work, parting with an old girl, height / decline in inflation. Holiday because long ago (two weeks) there were no holidays. In general, the reason is always there – the desire for everyone also always has. So life is a solid holiday.

In general, you need to meet. First – the receptionist and ebony, which monitors the pool on the first floor. Expand the circle – saleswoman in a pharmacy, administrator in the beauty salon, a boy who works in the nearest communication salon, the saleswoman in the bakery and master of the nearest bar. Taxi drivers who are standing near the house, the driver of the ferry, who transports you through the dirty puddle (it is called the canal) to get to the beach. And most importantly: the owner of the beach tent. This acquaintance brings to your life immediately a bunch of amenities: he opens up a personal account that you pay at the end of the week (so you don’t have to wear money to the beach, which have nowhere to put, so they are sure to either lose them, or they are steal), there is to put it Bag and slippers so that they are not scanned, and ice beer (. ), which he himself quickly brings you to where you learn. The tent is cool and you can sit next to the refrigerator, and there is always fresh water, which can be washed, if the salt corps the physiognomy. He will make you the most delicious kebab of fresh products and will introduce a lot of useful people who play beach volleyball, beach football, fried meat (called Shurrasco), teach ride a kite-sister.

On the beach, you just need to get acquainted with the rescuers so that when you are drowning, they are not lazy to pull you out, the inner of the surf, which floats 10 times better and faster than the rescuers and, not only that he will teach ride on the board, will tell how to Will behave with the ocean, and will introduce yourself with all local surf party (beautiful, pumped, tattooed, tanned, extreme men in sliding shorts, and they are not boring, and hence you will not be bored).

Week – And I already feel as if I was here and grew up, my social life became complete – I am familiar with all the beach and drink beer every evening. The routine of the day was established – I get up at seven – a shower, breakfast (papaya and orange Fresh) and I go to the beach – from 8 to 10.30 Trying to ride a sep. On the beach every 800 meters of nipping from palm leaves, under them a bunch of multicolored boards and the people sitting in a tank nearby and drinks beer. This is called the Scene School – for $ 30 per month you can ride 3 times a week for two and a half hours. First, a short theoretical course, the first aid of fallen water, learn how to get out of the ocean, using the current, then the first five classes the instructor does not sail away from you for a minute, follows the fact that you are not drowned, gives useful tips and helps to find the best The wave, organizedly exports everyone to watch the competition, arranges holidays, joint Sunday skating on a skate and hiking in clubs.

Then sunbathing, go to eat with friends, I ride from 14 to 16 again.30 (it is better to ride it early in the morning and closer to the evening – because the waves are better and weaker) – it’s like a blue-eyed blonde, and even Russian, made such a gift – I can visit all the classes that I want (that is, I can), all for the same 30 dollars per month. After riding, we change clothes and go to the pier to watch the sunset, then home – a shower and dining with a friend in the nearest beer.

Lunch is a separate song, a fairy tale, unattainable in Moscow Blue Dream, the main reason for nostalgia (well, after the sun and the beach). It is necessary to dine in a local beer – a large terrace with concrete floor looks like a courtyard in front of a barn, tablecloths are always paper, but the knives are sharp. The order brings a maximum after 10 minutes – if longer, then you can scandal loudly. The names of the unusual are mastered in six months – the balls of Ipin, Kidin, Karamboura, Asai, Mokeka, Guarana – all divine. Dishes are one (weighs 0.75 kg) and for two (respectively, 1.5). The basis of the national cuisine – Faizoada, that is, rice with beans (black beans, boiled on cow ears, tails and hooves – very satisfying) and Farofa (Mondiwie flour with something smoked). Allows everything on one plate: first rice, top of the beans, sprinkled by the Farofoy. On the side of meat. Not just meat – half a gentle cow’s rear (this is size, although in fact it’s out of the hump. In a fabulous Brazil, special white cows live – they eat juicy herb, they do not give a lot to move and they accumulate a humpback between the shovels, whose meat with the finest bribes will be prepared for you). Grilled on the mangale so that fat is just melted only; Meat remains juicy, and in the middle itself – bright pink with blood. And on top – Potatoes Fries. And all this is powered by beer.

The beer is separate Oda – ice, such that the ice floes in floats (Brazilians do not finish until the end of the mug – they hate warm beer), transparent, amber-colored – taste of incredible. It happens in the circles of 0.3 and faceted glasses of 0.1 – for girls and children. You can still drink Caipiriny – a local cocktail – a finely chopped lime, ice, sugar and porridge (reed vodka somewhere

In Rio - in the morning, day and evening

60 degrees). Those who else or already can not be, – Guarani (like Morse from Guarana berries, which grows in Amazonia. By the way, Guarana very tones – all the guarana powder is taken on the disco: if it traamed – you smell and again in the ranks. No chemistry). Pizza is also divine. All unstound can be held home. And plus a Brazilian catering – order everything you want to mind, even if it is not in the menu.

In addition to beers, Barchiki Boteko exist. This is such a long narrow intestine trimmed with white tiled, it fits on a bar counter, along which a number of high iron stools are fit, regular customers are sitting on them, watching football on TV and drink with the owner of the institution. Nothing more placed. At the end – toilet. No doors. On the street, a bunch of iron folding chairs, you want to drink with friends – Run chairs with a circle and drink; Tables are rare, so keeping the mug of hands, sometimes arrange an improvised table of shifted stools. How easy it is to guess, such groups of drinking in the evenings occupy the entire pavement (Bariki in Rio every ten meters – customers always have enough). On the wall of the bar shelf, on them bottles – usually vodka or whiskey. On bottles instead of labels – papers with names of regular visitors (instead "Joni Walker" Posted "Senor Gimarash").

On Friday we go to Schurrasaria. Schurracia – Meat Restaurant. You come, pay somewhere 10 dollars for the entrance (this included buffet and meat, drinks for a fee), choose a table and wait – as soon as everyone has allions, the first waiter appears with Shampur and begins to go around the table, like a piece put on you on Plate. After 3 minutes, the next waiter appears with another meat variety. And so all the time, while you sit there, every 3 minutes appear new meat, sausages, fish, chicken (on average about 30 options). You can eat up to fainting. The secret of visiting Schurraskaria is that nothing is needed all day before, and the day before it is preferably also to fit more; It is not recommended to approach the buffet and order drinks (takes place in the stomach), well, only if the beer is not shurrassco without him; It is necessary to wait until the waiters will be held, and the plate will be filled with meat, quickly – quickly eat, slightly rest and repeat. All the horror is that, as scientists installed, saturation occurs 15-20 minutes after the start of the meal, it does not matter what amount of eaten, so the goal is to eat a maximum for the first 15 minutes. In Schurraskariy, 3-4 hours are sitting, after they crawl and do not eat two more – very hard. The most famous network of Schurraskariy in Rio is called "Pig". So I caught up for 11 kilograms.

Wednesday, Friday, Saturday – Leaving in the night. On the disco. It looks like this: somewhere in an hour after lunch-dinner, I call my friend, and we agree to meet in half an hour on a benzocolone. After two hours, simultaneously approach this very miserable benzocolone, no one scolds anyone – punctuality in Brazil is not accepted (and you ask why I can never sleep anywhere in time!?). Met, thank God. We go on the track to catch a bus. Another digression – the buses to Rio do not need to wait at the bus stops – if you show enough perseverance, the bus can be stopped anywhere and, that the most pleasant, get out, too, anywhere – stops never declare, the route sometimes changes due to traffic jams, driver Sits the whole wet in melts, blacks are trying to push around and sell cold water.

Before the club queue for an hour, buy beer, we are waiting. Minutes after ten minutes fits the guard and asks if we do not want to log in for free and without turn. Of course, want. This generosity is explained simply: in Brazil a very active male population, on discos, the ratio of men and women – 7 to 3. If you do not gain enough girls in time, then those unfortunate who came, run away, and the party will fail. Brazilian men, unlike the Russians, do not like having fun. Discos closes when the last drunk visitor is put on the street. Without a newfound couple, it is rare to leave, but if you still have enough strength, you can drink a beer and steer straight to the beach – the holiday never ends in Brazil.

So the month flew. Quite imperceptible. Somewhere a week after arrival, a lyrical hero appeared, very Brazilian: green-eyed mulatto in sliding colorful shorts, surfer, football player, lover of blondes, in the recent past Student-school students of the physical culture institute (the most prestigious specialty in Rio – without jokes, here, in contrast from Russia, people work smoothly so much to have enough for life, and do not live for work), now the unemployed, with foggy sources of income, a bunch of relatives with whom they introduced me three days, with normal (not north) temperament and old motorcycle. We dined with friends in Favele, rode big waves with steep sirramps, went to the grandmother on Shurrasko, made me a piercing in the ear with friends in the cabin (two more days two, and I would have been tattooed – a poor mother, I already chose the drawing) , drank coconut water, getting coconuts from the palm trees, and generally spent time. So I almost got married.

I searched me three days in a row, so I don’t remember the road, only punctured ear very burned. Now I will go buy a subscription to the pool and gym – you need to prepare for the next beach season in the fabulous city of Rio de Janeiro.

In Rio - in the morning, day and evening

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